I finished these paintings over two days and got along quite well. I did not select one of the suggested titles but tried to find my own themes. In all cases, I had a broad idea and a keyword for my painting, but the actual title developed while I was painting and trying to get to the core of the subject. All three paintings are 33 x 43 cm, landscape format.
The devastating virus (Ebola)
The first painting takes up a subject that concerns me since reports about the current Ebola outbreak appeared in the media. It’s not so much the fear of contracting the illness but rather a sense of horror when thinking about the effects of the virus on the human body.
I had mixed feelings whether I could allow myself to choose this topic and considered using a different title to mask what it was really about, out of respect and empathy with those who are ill or at risk. There is a notion of shame in my knowledge that I live in a relatively safe part of the world and can luxuriously paint something of which I have no real idea. But then again, the sense of concern and empathy for others is real for me, as is the scariness of the virus’ activity. So I decided to stay with the subject and hope it is not perceived as lacking respect.
I used black ink and a bamboo pen for the virus-like creatures and their tentacles and made additional tentacles in transparent wax. I continued with watercolours on wet paper by hitting the colour-loaded brush so it would make drops and splashes that would run into each other. The wax lines created an interesting barrier effect in some spots.
To me, the choice of media, technique and colours works well to convey the destructive work of the virus to turn healthy tissue into a bleeding mess. These drastic words correspond well to what I had in mind. But I’m also surprised about the aesthetic effect of the applied technique and wonder whether anyone would have so grave associations if I’d choose a more innocent title.
Sunny autumn day
This painting was inspired by my idea of the colourful autumn foliage in upstate New York. It’s an imaginary landscape with a postcard blue sky, a view on trees whose foliage is about to turn from green to yellow and red, and an earthy ground. It was painted in a wet in wet technique over some yellow oil pastel and transparent wax marks intended to create a glittery light effect.
I like how the colours run into each other and the technique is something I’d have wanted to explore much earlier, so this was a welcome late occasion. I’m less sure wether the image idea comes across, because the tree area also looks a bit like a burning wood. There is a lack of visual clues for the size of the trees and and the depth of field is unclear. My conclusion is that abstract landscape paintings would benefit if I had more practice with landscape painting. I’m quite sure that I’ll get back to the landscape subject again, I’m just having so many practical issues with making excursions that I keep postponing it.
Dental surgery
This may sound like an even weirder idea than that of the virus, but I chose this subject because it refers to a recent incident of very intense emotions of fear. I had to undergo a medical procedure involving all teeth and I experienced the minutes when I received the numbing injections as very painful and frightening. Making this painting brought back the emotions, and writing about it does so as well. Luckily the surgery went well, it was necessary and I’m glad it’s behind me!
What made me choose this topic was the memory for the intense feelings I had, and I wanted to try whether I could capture and convey them. The emotions are reflected in the way I painted. I started with the black lines using oil pastels. They were made in violent, rushing gestures and stand for those moments of consecutive painful injections. These were followed by feelings of dark numbness, interrupted by tinglings through the mouth when nerves responded to the Novocain, before they went numb. The tinglings are symbolized in the yellow broader oil pastel marks surrounding the center, made with equally forceful, quick gestures.
From a compositional point of view, there’s something like a center of pain, followed by numbness in the middle, surrounded by quieter, unaffected areas of both my body and my mind.
I think this painting works really well even without saying anything about the actual story behind it. There’s much energy conveyed in the black lines, and it’s quite disturbing, thus creating an interesting contrast to the abstract shapes and flow of colours. Maybe a less obvious, more abstract title to capture the essence would be ‘numbness and pain’, or ‘fear, numbness and pain’. But again there’s a striking contrast between the bright and exciting colours and the more or less horrific subject.
Some thoughts about free expression
What I particularly liked about this exercise was the freedom to choose my own subject, combined with the relief of not having to worry about resemblance with observed objects. It allowed me to concentrate on colour, on brush movements and on what happened on the paper. It was also naturally more open to an experimental approach. I’m realizing that I feel much more at ease with the abstract approach than with the observational approach, that’s quite interesting and highly appreciated experience.
I also see the correspondence of this exercise with using art as a therapeutic instrument. It was impressive how I was able to connect to lived emotions and how powerful these emotions still were.
Guided reflections
Did the title summon up images before you began?
Yes I think so. I started with searching for feelings/memories that would work and when I had decided on a topic then some imagery developed. It was quite faint and abstract, rather a quality/perception of visual movements than concreate objects.
Did the title suggest colour, line or shapes?
It wasn’t the title but the suggestions came when I immersed myself in memories and feelings associated with the title. This guided my pre-selection of colours and choice of media.
How did you progress with the painting?
I tried to stay focused on my subject and live through the associated emotions while painting. I also tried to let the emotions guide the gestures I made with the painting media.
Did one gesture lead to another or did you have clear idea of your intentions from the outset?
Some elements were clear at the outset, but then the painting developed gesture by gesture. In the virus painting, I started with the black spots and created the tentacles. The colour splashes then developed out of this. The autumn painting started with an idea for the blue sky, the burning foliage area and the earthy ground. The surgery painting began with an idea of lines or arrows and a central dark area. The coloured areas developed around this.
Are there figurative elements to your painting? If so, what?
Yes, there are the black virus elements and the black lines representing the injection needles.
What has influenced your painting?
The first painting took up imagery developed in the ‘Collage from random elements’ where I was inspired to draw ink tentacles out of the paper strips glued on the surface. I was very impressed by the sense of illness and morbidity it conveyed and apparently there was a need for me to get back to the topic.
The influences for the autumnn painting are more difficult to trace. Maybe it was the friendly sunny atmosphere that morning, where I looked at the potted plants outside which are now with green, yellow, red and brown leaves. It makes me think of the beautiful autumn foliage for which this area of the US is well known. I wish I’d be better organized and get myself out for a trip to actually see this, rather than just fantasizing about it!
The final painting might have been influenced by my research on Robert Delaunay the evening before. I was quite impressed by the colourful abstract paintings and remembered the paintings of rings and circles in bright intense colours. Before starting I went through more abstract ideas and was considering to make a painting in the style of Delaunay, but decided against it in favour of an emotionally more intense subject. I think the influence manifests itself in the intensity of the colours I painted.